Update: Most Improbably...

It turns out there were hamburgers. I'm not really sure how, but I found a box of them (probably not far from where I woke up). I think it was aliens, or probably a kindly, old magician.

I'm probably in trouble.

Probably no one has noticed that I'm missing yet. I've started looking for ways to escape. I figured I could probably build a boat, but the only wood is in this little forest near the beach and it's probably filled with all sorts of dangerous animals. I thought I heard a roar earlier. It was probably a lion, but it might have been a bear with indigestion. Speaking of indigestion, I'm starting to get hungry. I want a hamburger, but there probably aren't hamburgers on a deserted island.

This is probably just the beginning.

I woke up on an island today. I'm not sure where I am. It looks like that little, rocky one off the coast of Maine, near Bar Harbor, where I used to vacation with my family. But it's probably not.